end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found puke in my bra..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
