i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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