Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
