i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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