weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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