I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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