Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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