you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
