I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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