oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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