So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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