Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
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It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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