Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?