so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
