Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go

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  (248): u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go http://tfl.nu/kj46
  Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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  (810): I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work... http://tfl.nu/lwph
  Replies (29) Good night (4471) Bad night (742)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

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  (702): Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls? (636): anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence http://tfl.nu/1u56
  Replies (32) Good night (8872) Bad night (1127)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11275) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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  (617): I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues". http://tfl.nu/ykd9
  Replies (13) Good night (3090) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.

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  (845): I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties. http://tfl.nu/q6j5
  Replies (5) Good night (2853) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.

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  (519): I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex. http://tfl.nu/xdk5
  Replies (11) Good night (4275) Bad night (860)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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  (678): I'll always be here to give you immoral support. http://tfl.nu/ss89
  Replies (6) Good night (3001) Bad night (970)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.

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  (914): We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome. http://tfl.nu/vs6k
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.

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  (250): Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys. http://tfl.nu/97m7
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.

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  (734): I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play. http://tfl.nu/5k4o
  Replies (6) Good night (1322) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.

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  (775): My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am. http://tfl.nu/5s1a
  Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.

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  (410): There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this. http://tfl.nu/4z9s
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (642) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

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  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (274)

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