Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i was like PREG?

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  (312): i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?' (312): i was like PREG? http://tfl.nu/r2o4
  Replies (9) Good night (1051) Bad night (1217)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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  (215): Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less http://tfl.nu/o2ix
  Replies (25) Good night (581) Bad night (1002)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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  (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. http://tfl.nu/rnks
  Replies (20) Good night (632) Bad night (2710)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She does have a great personality.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  Yeah, in her vagina.

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  (864): She does have a great personality. (1-864): Yeah, in her vagina. http://tfl.nu/us41
  Replies (9) Good night (4438) Bad night (734)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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  (845): Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials. http://tfl.nu/bzpv
  Replies (32) Good night (1025) Bad night (4773)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.

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  (614): There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out. http://tfl.nu/1cqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2431) Bad night (1619)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (1991)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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  (814): She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place http://tfl.nu/x3gi
  Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (722)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.

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  (419): PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me. http://tfl.nu/iheo
  Replies (1) Good night (2041) Bad night (647)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

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  (403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (528)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

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  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (577)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We're not piercing ourselves today.

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  (405): We're not piercing ourselves today. http://tfl.nu/89v4
  Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (328)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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  (773): It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse http://tfl.nu/hj9m
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (367)
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  (619): View more from California

  you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.

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  (619): you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's. http://tfl.nu/zax5
  Replies (6) Good night (508) Bad night (366)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit

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  (908): idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit http://tfl.nu/vbo6
  Replies (2) Good night (560) Bad night (285)

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