Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (1002) Bad night (905)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6137) Bad night (1058)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.

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  (970): Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends. http://tfl.nu/xm5k
  Replies (59) Good night (5671) Bad night (2013)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20733) Bad night (2462)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight

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  (214): call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight http://tfl.nu/wfsk
  Replies (75) Good night (7410) Bad night (846)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.

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  (702): sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick. http://tfl.nu/022f
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (4488)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.

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  (630): Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box. http://tfl.nu/2fsf
  Replies (23) Good night (6915) Bad night (1004)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.

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  (360): I'll bring the barf blanket just in case. http://tfl.nu/d0c2
  Replies (6) Good night (931) Bad night (2482)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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  (+44): he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway. http://tfl.nu/6dio
  Replies (8) Good night (2851) Bad night (791)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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  (812): well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me. http://tfl.nu/v83s
  Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (640)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.

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  (860): I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off. http://tfl.nu/qi2a
  Replies (16) Good night (2038) Bad night (1146)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.

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  (608): I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books. (608): I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night. http://tfl.nu/nd7e
  Replies (0) Good night (734) Bad night (463)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (847): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hvdp
  Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (416)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (303)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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  (630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (351)

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