She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
