cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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