Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
