They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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