Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
