Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
