the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
