I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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