Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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