too bad you live with your parents still
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
