Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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