it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
