Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
