C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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