I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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