see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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