No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
