i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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