wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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