Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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