Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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