Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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