Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
