Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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