mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
