Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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