His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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