nut hugger
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
