It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
