I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
