I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
