Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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