for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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