how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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