It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
