i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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