Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.