Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
