So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?