I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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