i will never coherently bang her
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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