is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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