Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize