She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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