dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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