Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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