fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
