You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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