Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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