I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
