We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
