I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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