Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
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8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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